Sin and Conviction

"You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin."

No, this is true. I have not yet resisted to bloodshed, and I am indeed still striving against sin. I thought that if sin crept in, that I was doomed. I would punish myself, hide myself from God, and sit feeling condemned for days or weeks at a time.

Sin creeps in and tries to find a home within us. Temptation nudges the desire that lies dormant, seeking to awaken the lusts that have yet to be fully purged.

"But you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: 'My son, do not depsise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourages every son whom He receives.' If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons."

The Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin. By this reason I know that I am a son (daughter) and not illegitimate. I feel the weight of my sin. I see it as a loathsome thing. I hate it. It sickens me.

This should be encouraging! We are sons and daughters! While we should never treat sin lightly, we should rejoice in the fact that He has not left us when we feel convicted of our sins. TURN FROM YOUR SINS, REPENT, TURN BACK TO GOD.

Will we hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit calling out our sins? Will we humble ourselves enough to repent quickly? Will we endure the chastening that is sure to follow?

I found myself in sin about a month ago. It started out as a small nudge. At first I just ignored it and turned to God every time it would come to mind. Then the small nudge became a shove. The shove opened up the flood gates of my desire. My desire surfaced in my mind and I gave thought to a sinful act. I actually entertained the idea on more than one occasion. At the end of a very long week, going from a small nudge to a shove that lead to a sinful thought, I found myself hiding from God. I came down with a sickness that lasted another week. I slept for 4 days, almost continuously. When I woke up, all I could feel was the weight of my sin along with the weight of whatever sickness I had come down with. I was miserable, but I knew what I had to do.

I knew that I had sinned in my heart. The Holy Spirit was convicting me. Instead of acting in a repentant manner I opted for the "go and hide from God" thing which brought with it a horrible feeling of condemnation.

During my sickness, which I saw as chastisement from God for my sin, I forced myself to my knees. I prayed and opened up my bible to Hebrews 12. Within moments the condemnation I felt lifted and I was in a state of repentance.

"Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but grievous; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

Will we allow our sins, the conviction of them, and the repentance that should come quickly, to train us thereby yielding the fruit of righteousness? Will we hide from God? We do this because of pride, but it is a humble spirit that is quickly moved to repentance. Will we sit and wallow in our self-centered despair when sin rears its ugly head and we fall? Or will we stand firm and feel encouraged, knowing that the Holy Spirit is indeed at work within us because we are feeling convicted? Will we be encouraged knowing that even though we may feel the chastisement of God it is only because He loves us and is dealing with us as sons? Will we be encouraged knowing that He is purifying us and chastising us for our profit so that we may become partakers of HIS holiness?

"Therefore, strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed!"


*disclaimer: We should be finding ourselves with less and less sin in our lives as we keep following the path of righteousness. We will sin, but those sins should be few and far between and little in comparison to the sins we once had in our lives. God is doing a work in us and we need to yield to that work. We need to humble ourselves before him and be quick to repent.