9/24/11

You Have No Life? This IS Your Life.

Note to self: Do not venture into the arena of "parenting blogs". You will eventually run into a horrible post about how the mom can't wait to "get rid of her kids". This is usually made in reference to school starting. Or you might run into a comment on said blog post from another mom who might say something like this:

"When my life is out of balance (it’s all about kids or husband’s work, no alone time), I feel like I have no life…and in those moments I marvel, 'I gave up my freedom for this? Willingly?! I’m a reasonably smart person…how was I duped by the fantasy? What was I thinking???'" (actual comment from an actual mom on an actual "parenting blog".

Do I think I am super mom? No. Do I have moments when I want to run out of the house screaming? Yes. Do I sit and cry in my bedroom instead of scream at my kid for doing the same thing I've told him 500,891 times not to do? Yes, indeed. Would I give this up for anything in the world? NO. I would do it over and over and over again until all of my selfish "I want, I need, I deserve" feelings are GONE. Is this life about dying to self or not? Is this life about serving others or not? When we can't even serve our family happily, what is wrong with us!? Gave up MY freedom???? I would gladly give up my freedom for another life. I would gladly choose to go through those sleepless nights again. I would gladly give anything for the chance to have another baby.

You feel like you have no life? At some point mom's need to understand that THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Your life now consists of training up children into responsible, loving, God-fearing people who love to SERVE. If we are always complaining about our life as a mom and how we have to serve everyone and no one ever serves us and we never get time alone and we never blah blah blah blah...then how in the world do we expect our children to grow into people that LOVE to serve others? Especially when their model can't even serve their own family without complaining about how awful it is.

Love your children. Love your husbands. Love your life. Serve with all your heart. Serve until you can't serve any more and then serve some more. Give and give and give without ever expecting to be given anything in return and then you will find that you have discovered the greatest gift of all. A heart for others and a dying "self".

9/21/11

A Facebook Farewell

For months I've been thinking about taking a step back from facebook, and since school has started I've done a lot better with my time management, but facebook is still one of the first places I go to get information. Most of this information is totally useless. Who cares that you made brownies today? Who cares that I am making chicken pot pie for dinner? And then the real clincher...who cares that I have a major prayer request, and out of all my friends and family, both old and new, mostly Christians, I have one person who I know personally that says she will stand with me in prayer, and another person I have never met in real life says she will also pray. What's wrong with this picture. Where are my friends and family? Why are they not there? Why do I feel so desperately hurt when my facebook prayer request gets ignored? It brings up emotions I would rather not have to deal with. The days of the prayer chain might have just disappeared, or maybe no one cares because it's all so impersonal. I am no longer a person, just an image on a computer screen with soundbites of my life. Nothing real, nothing deep, nothing that says anything about who I really truly am. Just a bunch of superficial nothingness.

I kept facebook so I could keep in touch with all the people I left a year ago when we moved out to Wyoming. I thought it would be a great way to stay close to people. It isn't. I don't call my friends. I don't write to them. They don't call me. They don't write. I rarely have any conversations with anyone I love back home, and I am left wondering if facebook were gone, would it be the same? Maybe because I can see them every day, even though we don't actually interact any more, maybe I feel like that is some sort of relationship, and it's better than nothing.

Well, enough with this social experiment. It is failing me. It is failing my relationships. I am failing as a mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter, and person who knows how to have a relationship with people OUTSIDE of my computer. It's high time I start venturing out into the world and engaging in LIFE. Not pseudo life...REAL LIFE.

So, adios facebook (you know, as soon as I download my entire shared existence from the past 3 years).

Seriously, it's idolatry, at least for me, so I am smashing that idol and walking away. If you have issues with this same idol, I encourage you to do the same. I've listened to the whole "oh we will miss you so much...just limit your time...you CAN'T leave us..." Well, would it be ok if I visited my idol only once a day? How about a few times a week? Maybe just in the evenings after the kids are in bed and only for 10 minutes? NO! I'm smashing my idols until none remain. Did God expect anything less from the Israelites? No. So why do we think it is alright for us to be disobedient in these areas and somehow God is ok with it? I have theories, but I just know He is NOT ok with it and because of that, I should not be ok with it, either. That's that. It's over.

For those of you reading this, please, seriously, keep us in your prayers. We are in a huge battle right now for Gavin. It is ongoing and we are getting close to the end fight that will determine his future home. We need direction, wisdom, perseverance, and support. It is really important. The enemy is out to destroy and we are tired. Help us carry this burden.

*if you care to keep in touch, I do have email and obviously this blog. Email me at alitpathway@gmail.com and if I know you personally from our many facebook interactions (but not in real life) and you would like to keep in touch, feel free to ask for my mailing address and phone number.
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